My Grown Up Christmas List

So, something on the lighter side, I’ve decided to write a personal wish list for Santa this year.  Hopefully he won’t find it too precocious of me to ask for all that I am.  I can do with just a few things, or one, or all… whatever he feels I’ve earned this year…

  • I would like new breaks for the van, also some new tires, an alignment and rotation would be nice, also heated seats… um, geesh, this is getting pretty complicated… how about just getting me a new car?  That might be easier…
  • My own personal version of myself, the one who goes to other people’s homes and cleans it up the way I would like my own home cleaned (or the way I have in the past)… but one that came everyday to clean up after everyone in the house… and for free.
  • Ohhh, oh… my own house would be great, but without the house payment… that would be bad…
  • How about a job?  This might be easier considering I could then take care of all of the other above requests… but please make it something I would like and would look forward to doing everyday, and something that has a hefty paycheck to support above requests… and also something that doesn’t go against my personal moral judgement…
  • A tummy tuck and boob job would be nice, you know, just a booster for my self-esteem… clean up the rough spots, make me look presentable… because then  I could maybe catch a sugar daddy like I’ve been talking about, and again, this list would become irrelevant.
  • A new wardrobe, one that fits nicely and follows Trisha’s criteria of “appropriate” office attire…

Not to sound too selfish, I will add some stuff in here that isn’t for me…

  • Yearly wardrobes for the girls in the appropriate sizes, preferably outfits that have cute coordinating pieces, and cute accessories so my kids don’t look like rag-a-muffins anymore…
  • Gifts for all of the other people in my life besides the girls, because they are really the only ones I bought for this year, and they probably aren’t going to be too happy because it’s not quite up to the same standards of years past, in which case I would like the gift of appreciation for them so they can accept graciously what they do receive…

That should about cover it… oh, the most important, I almost forgot!  World peace and an end to hunger… and for an end to assholishness.  That would be really awesome.  And some karma… that’d be cool too… I’d better stop now… thanks, and I love you, I’m really a big fan… I’ll stop kissing ass now, no really….

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Posted on December 19, 2011, in humor, Random, Why, yes. Yes I am crazy... and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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