Monthly Archives: February 2012

Arrgh. I be a pirate.

Ooooh, I’m in a mood this week.  I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I’m reading this Dave Ramsey book and I’m over analyzing so it’s making me question my life again, just when I think I have successfully masters not giving a shit about my life, then WHAM! There it is, the questioning.  I’m currently in the process of questioning whether I should drop the Graphic Design associate’s degree.  I’m not so sure I’m good at it.  Ramsey talks about finding your “passion” and skills inventory tests and I’m right back where I was 9 months ago trying to decide what color my parachute is.  Damn parachute.  I don’t even go up in the sky, why do I need a parachute.  I should just stick with teaching, I know, but all I want are some letters of recommendation that aren’t 10 years old, and since I’ve asked for several and people keep ignoring me, I then question my teaching abilities and I get all screwed up.  Like letters of recommendation are going to be the deciding point of whether I get a job or not.  Haha, that would be the call to my last employer.  I keep telling myself when I get the rejection letter (or call, or both) after the next job interview I’m going to ask if they have contacted my previous employer and if they had could they please be so kind as to tell my why they said they let me go?  Just wondering.  Just sayin’.

Anyway, when I’m in a mood I tend to be irritated by the slightest thing, which is usually anything that comes out of my poor mother’s mouth.  God bless the woman. And my children, who constantly then think I’m mad at them when really I’m just irritated that it takes 2 freaking hours to give baths…  Then I start sounding like a pirate, going around mumbling, “arrgh, arrgh.  Arrgh……arrgh.” Then I start talking like one.  “I be makin’ you walk the plank if ye don’t be gettin’ out of that tub matey. Don’t make me come in there after ye.”  I’m getting an eye patch tomorrow…

*******************************************************update*********************************************************

This morning on Facebook I wake up to this comment from Trisha:

Trisha I would like you to know that this blog makes me want to put my arms up in the air like Juanita the weasel and say:

Are you FUGGIN KIDDING ME!!!

10 hours ago · Like

I responded with this:

Liz posted a photo to Trisha‘s Wall.
Ask and you shall receive….
Advertisements

And then I thought the doctor was going to tell me I had lung cancer…

So I finally broke down and went to the doctor today because I’ve had this cough and congestion thing going on that includes wheezing and a bit of burning in my chest when I cough.  I usually am the biggest hypochondriac around.  Web MD has been my best friend and I have always loved to look up my symptoms and self diagnose.

Anyway, I haven’t been too upbeat with myself this week.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking if I didn’t have my girls I would probably just give up.  Then I wondered if I already had really given up but was just putting up a front like I haven’t.  All of that depressing jazz aside, when I went to the Prompt Care this afternoon I was slightly concerned about pneumonia, but not cancer…

I had to go to the Prompt Care because my doctor is apparently on hiatus and everyone else in the office was booked because it was Friday and everyone waits like me until Friday to decide to call the doctor.  After waiting an hour I was called in and seen by a doctor of few words.  She listened to me but didn’t say much.  Then asked if I smoked.  I said yes. Then she told me she wanted to order a chest x-ray just to be on the safe side to make sure everything looked ok because if she didn’t it probably wouldn’t be done anytime soon.

HELLO. Hypochondriac here. I started freaking a bit, then I started praying, “Oh God please don’t let me die, I don’t want to die. I want to live!” I’m sure it was amusing. Turns out all was clear, but I got your message loud and clear God.  No more giving up talk… I swear you’re the most sarcastic God I know. Well, the only one really, but still…

Lessons learned…

A couple of weeks ago I was having a discussion with my friend about the trials and tribulations that we go through in our lives and she was telling me she had heard a sermon from a pastor saying that sometimes God puts us in recurring situations because we still have a lesson to learn.  She posed the question to me, “What lessons have you learned from your past tribulation?” This caused me to over think, as so many things do, but I came to a short list of things I believe I have learned in the past year and a half.

First I learned that you should NEVER put the fate of your happiness into any one thing (or person) no matter what.  There is nothing and no one you can depend on other than yourself and God.  I was pretty angry at God for a long time and questioned his direction in my life. Truth be told I still do.  Yet, I do know I have learned that my happiness depends on myself. Not a stupid boy, my friends, my job, or even my children.

Next I learned that just because your down and out doesn’t mean that people will be nice to you or won’t kick you while your down.  Much the opposite, they will kick you down, stomp on you, pour lemon juice in your wounds, and then sit back and enjoy watching you writhe with pain, hoping you will run away with your tail between your legs.  Sounds bad, I know, but staying true to the first lesson learned, we as people are flawed individuals and many times instead of trying to help someone we tend to push them aside and pretend like they don’t exist in order to satisfy our own need for sanity.

I have learned that I AM a strong person. I don’t care what anyone says, any normal person would not make it through what I have been through and still be standing.  Well, they probably would, but I did a pretty damn decent job.

I have learned that the people who really care about you will step up in times of tribulation.

I have learned that as humans we have fallen extremely short of the expectations God has for us, but even more the expectations we have for ourselves.

I have learned I am not a nice person, and that I have made many mistakes, and yes, karma is a bitch and will come back to bite you in the ass, so watch out people. No matter how much you think you are blameless, usually you are the one who deserves the most blame. Suck it up, put on your big girl panties, and deal with it. If you don’t like it, change it, but don’t EVER expect others to forgive you for it.  Forgiveness is a fickle thing…

I know there are other lessons, but these are the ones that have stuck in my head the most this past week and it seems I can’t let it go unless I write it down and send it out into the universe in order to be at peace with it.  Maybe I will never be at peace with it, but I promise I will try…

I love it when other bloggers enable my crazy posts….

This week The Bloggess bought yet another taxidermied animal, dressed it up, gave it a name, and a shining persona.  She so politely gave her readership a copy of the photo to allow them to create their own “Jaunita” (click here to read her story) crazed photos, and so I took hold of the opportunity to create my own.

If you read my blog, you know about my side job as “The Family”s housekeeper.  Here are a few pics just to keep the ball rolling…

And just to be fair, here is one for “The Family” (I imagine The Family’s patriarch saying this, and yes, in this apron as well…)

Just a little fun to break up the monotony of an average Wednesday night…

I bet you didn’t know…

I was driving home from wherever it is I was today with Ella, and I was thinking about all of the stupid shit I have done in my life.  I mean really dumb stuff. Like there was the time when I was like 19 and I went out and bought a stick shift car, but I didn’t know how to drive a stick shift. Um, I had to call my dad and be like, “Dad? I bought a new car today. Would you mind going with me to pick it up and drive it home. Yeah, it’s a stick shift. No, I don’t know how to drive a stick shift. K, thanks.”

Then there was the time when I shaved my head, 1997 maybe? I would have been about 20 or 21.  Three months later was my brother’s wedding in which I was a bridesmaid.  I’m not really sure how my sister-in-law and I get along. I mean we get along, I just don’t know how she didn’t manage to kill me, or say something really mean to me, or do something equally horrifying to me at my own wedding.  Which, would have served me right for doing it to her, and for marrying the dork that I did… but that’s another stupid thing I did that would take a really long time to explain…

Then there were the times I would go out partying with friends and drive home. You know how you get halfway home and realize you have no idea how you got to the point where you were?  Yeah, I really hope my kids never do that shit.  I was SO stupid and I can’t believe sometimes I’m still alive…

Oh, oh… then there was the time I graduated from high school and thought I would go out and do something really great, better than what my brother did in college, or where he went, or what all of the other people I went to high school with were going to do with their lives, like teach… I went to Bradley University and majored in Chemistry, but dropped all of my chemistry classes by like the fourth week of school, and then the following semester dropped out after I had pledged a sorority and moved into the house and was on academic probation, and had changed my major to, you know it, education. Fun times, fond memories…

Then there was the time about a year and a half ago I shaved my head AGAIN, because I was teaching in a school with no air conditioning and got really hot one day and just decided to shave it all off.  That ended up in disaster with my then husband divorcing me (NOT due to the shaved head, at least I don’t think so…) and my losing my job six months later (also not due to the head shaving, or again, at least I don’t think so…)

Honestly those are just a few, but I bet they give you more than a little TMI about me to make to think twice when you run into me again… I am a dumb chick sometimes, but hey, it’s never a dull moment! Truth.

The moment your best friend turns into your mother…

So I’m participating in BlogHer‘s NoBloPoMo, which is writing a post each day for a month (you can check out the link for more info…). Anyway, if it seems like I’m blogging about random shit this month, it’s because I’m writing everyday and reaching for things to write about daily.  Should make for interesting blogging.

So you know we all had strep last week.  I seemed to have it the worst as it kept me down for a full 4-5 days, with a lingering sore throat that lasted about 3 more days.  The girls were going to their dad’s on Monday (thank God, because I needed a break…) and I have been going to Trisha’s on Monday’s as well because our weekends have been all messed up because we were suppose to go to my brother’s the weekend we all got sick, but that never happened and now I’m rambling…

The week prior, Trisha and I had gone on this crazy, mad, walk in the dark for like an hour, 3.25 miles. She decided she wanted to go again this last Monday. Alas, I had been sick all weekend, so I didn’t really feel like going.  I knew she was gaining traits like her own mother, but I’m not really sure when she began to become my mother…

Trisha: Ur yahoo is spamming me
Me: Crap got it
.. Good. Still coming over tonight
Yes, but I’m not sure I’m up for a walk
Why?
Still got a sore throat…just tired. I can try if you want…
Would you rather I not come? I’m not contagious anymore. I’ve been on a z-pack since Wednesday
Sorry, was in a mtg that just got out.
Come if you wish.. But know that I am going to go walking. And I’m not going in the dark alone. Besides, the fresh air will do u good
Shit. Its soccer night.
Sooooo no walk?
How’s that for irony?
Idk. Thinking
You could go for a walk and I could put baby Jackson to bed…
LOL no. gimme a few
Yea, dammit . I guess the walks out, unless you wanna go around 730? That’s not that late
We wouldn’t be home until 8:30
 Yup
whatever
We went, it was fine, at least not as cold as the previous week.  The fresh air will do you good… ok, mom…

Having an energy efficient car apparently has its perks… other than saving the environment I mean…

So the other day I was talking to a relative who told me the new bank in their town had special parking places for patrons that drive energy efficient cars.  Yep, you got that right, energy efficient cars.  Never mind senior citizens, or pregnant women, or mothers of small children… energy efficient cars.  To give them some credit, there are handicap parking places as well, like three. There were like six energy efficient car parking spaces… I wouldn’t believe it until I saw it for myself…

Ok, I believe it now...

 

There are the three handicap parking spaces, then the three energy efficient parking spaces on each side of them...

Is it just me, or are you somewhat offended, regardless if you are a member of this bank or not? I was. Made me want to pull up in my chugging swagger wagon and slide into one of those front parking spaces….I’m all for saving the planet, seriously, but I think that is isolating a pretty large group of people (who don’t drive energy efficient cars I mean…) Whateve…

%d bloggers like this: