Look at my barren field….

6npyrf2I’ve been struggling for the past few, well, weeks, months, years, decades… For someone who wants people to like her so much, I should really stop being such a bitch. I’m finding myself frustrated with nearly everything lately. Irritability is a bitch.

Work,

Money,

People,

Weight loss,

All of the above, please.

 

As I so often do, I was thinking at work today while trying to maintain my anger management issues, how I’m really not a nice person.  I talk about myself too much, I don’t worry about others enough, I’m irresponsible, and irritating.  I have no will-power, I’m ungrateful for what I have.  The list could go on, and on…

So, to counter-act the tail spin that would likely result from this bout of self-loathing, I’m taking it upon myself to make this blog a thankful journal for the remaining month of December.  For each day I will write at least a short post to remind myself of all that I have to be thankful for.  I thought about posting about positive things about myself, but I would have to have positive things to say about myself, and I don’t right now.  Maybe in a couple of weeks I will have mindfully proven to myself that I can be a good and kind person, and then I can spend a month writing a positive affirmation blog month about that. But for now I need to get my head out of my ass and stop being lost in my barren field of f*cks I don’t give and get my shit together.

Wish me luck!